Prospects in a first sales conversation with a financial advisor are doing something they may not be fully conscious of doing.
They are assessing whether they are being heard or handled.
The two feel somewhat similar from the inside when they are well executed, which is part of what makes the distinction so important to understand.
Being handled is what happens when responses to what the prospect says are primarily designed to move the conversation toward a predetermined destination.
The listening is filtered. Certain things the prospect says are engaged with fully because they are useful to the narrative being built. Other things are acknowledged warmly and moved past because they do not fit the direction the conversation is supposed to go.
The handling can be extremely professional, extremely warm, even genuinely caring. But it is in service of an outcome rather than in service of the person.
Being heard is something different.
It is what happens when responses come from genuine engagement with what the prospect actually said, including the parts that are complicated, that do not fit a neat category, that create uncertainty about what comes next.
Being heard means the advisor followed where the conversation led rather than where the agenda directed. It means something the prospect said that was unexpected was met with curiosity rather than a return to the planned path.
The prospect who is being handled will often experience a first sales conversation as pleasant and professional.
They will leave informed. They will have covered the relevant ground.
And they will carry away something that sits just beneath their conscious assessment of the conversation: a mild sense that they were a customer rather than a person.
The prospect who was heard will experience the same conversation differently.
They will leave having said things they did not plan to say. They will feel that the advisor has a picture of their situation that goes beyond what they prepared to share.
They will notice that something unexpected happened in the conversation, that it went somewhere real.
And they will carry away a sense, often difficult to articulate, that this was a different kind of professional conversation than they were expecting.
That sense is the beginning of trust. And trust is not produced by being handled well. It is only produced by being genuinely heard.
The practical difference between the two postures is in what happens when something unexpected appears in the conversation.
When a prospect says something that does not fit the agenda, something complicated or personal or that would take the conversation somewhere unplanned, the handling posture returns the conversation to the track.
The hearing posture goes toward the unexpected thing.
It says, with a question or a pause or an acknowledgment, that whatever just appeared is worth attending to.
That willingness to go toward the unexpected is the most direct path to the experience of being genuinely heard.
It communicates, more powerfully than any planned response could, that the conversation is actually for the prospect rather than for the process.
And that communication, received in full, is the beginning of the kind of relationship that does not require a follow-up sequence to maintain.
Related: The Client Who Stays Is Not the One You Closed
Ari Galper is the world’s number one authority on trust-based selling and is the most sought-after high-net worth/lead generation expert for financial advisors. His newest book, “Trust In A Split Second” has become an instant best-seller among financial advisors worldwide – you can get a Free copy of Ari’s book here and, when you click the “YES” button in the order form, you’ll also receive a complimentary “plug up the holes” lead generation consultation. Ari has been featured in CEO Magazine, Forbes, INC Magazine and the Financial Review. He is considered a contrarian in the financial services industry and in his book, everything you learned about selling will be turned upside down. No more chasing, no pressure, no closing.
